Artist's New Feelings
by saisakurauchiha
Summary: Sai never understood the love Sakura had for Sasuke, but as he himself falls into the trap of falling in love, he learned about the insufferable pain called brokenness. SaiSaku/SasuSaku
1. That Night

**Author's Note: Hi guys!** **I'm still new when it comes to writing so I hope my narration doesn't bother you as much, and if you happen to notice some grammatical errors, I do apologize in advance.**

 **Also, I know Sai became less rude to Sakura but I still kind of want to incorporate it to my story because it's really hilarious. They're hilarious together, which is why they're so fun to ship to each other. LMAO**

 **I HOPE YOU'LL ENJOY THIS FIC! I WAS REALLY SAD WHEN SAISAKU SHIPPERS AREN'T ACTIVE ANYMORE AND I WONDER IF THERE ARE EVEN STILL PEOPLE AROUND SHIPPING THEM DESPITE THE CANONS, SO HERE I AM GETTING INSPIRED TO WRITE MY OWN.**

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 **Chapter 1 – That Night**

After the war, Sai and Sakura had been seen together more frequently than usual. They had gotten fonder and more comfortable of each other's company but the constant bickering was still there. No matter how many times Sakura explained to Sai that commenting negatively on people's appearances is rude and will only lead to him in physical pain, he never seemed to mind. Telling someone the truth just made much more sense to him than deceiving people. Sometimes Sakura would just try to prolong her patience but it really just makes her want to pulverize him to death when he was being too much. She wished she was exaggerating, but she really wasn't.

Although the two were always fighting, mainly Sakura punching Sai, and Sai just smiling to her, many thought that they were really cute together, and even wondered if they were dating – but it was never like that. Sai didn't seem to be the type of man who would get involved in a romantic relationship anyway, as this boy was too oblivious of such thing according to Sakura. Sakura, of course, had always been devoted of her feelings to Sasuke and she knew she can never replace him, especially now that he showed her a simple but meaningful gesture of affection before he left. He gave her hope, hope that she once lost but rose again.

Despite the latter, she still felt so melancholic from time to time. Ever since Sasuke left the village again to seek redemption, he never returned her messages. He never even visited home once every few months to relax and bond with his friends in Konoha even just for a little while. He was persistent to find peace in his soul and help the people in need around the world. She understood that but there was a part of her that wished he was able to forgive himself so he could at least let people join him in his journey who are willing to. She missed him so much, so much that she was starting to hurt again.

Hanging out with Sai though makes it a little easier to wait. Even with Sai's insulting words, she was still happy to have him around. Sai became her diary. Sai became her new best friend. She thought that was impossible to ever happen as he always seemed to prefer being alone more during his free time to concentrate on his artworks, but in the past eight months, the two had been bonding more than ever.

Sai had always been there just to listen and understand her. For someone who was still learning about feelings and emotions, he was a great listener. He never really got tired of her blabbering and complaining and crying and longing for the Uchiha. He wanted to be there with her. He wanted to be the one that comforted her. He wanted to understand what she was feeling.

She also made him feel things that were so foreign to him. He could never fathom what they were but being with her satisfied his need. These feelings though were something he could never speak of with her. He didn't know why, but his heart always felt like it just ran a marathon on its own even just imagining telling her.

It all started that one night after their mission at Kirigakure when these feelings started to occur to him, flashbacks kept him reminiscing this moment with her:

 _They were resting by the lake, just sitting on the grass and admiring the beautiful sky after a very exhausting day. The stars became more prominent as the night went by. He took a glimpse of her and saw how the moon was illuminating her viridian eyes and her porcelain skin so strikingly. The breeze was softly brushing her hair, making it look even softer than he thought. She was smiling while staring up above. The sky was beautiful indeed, but she was… more beautiful that night. He was so mesmerized by her – something he thought he would never tell himself as he had always called her "ugly". What did "ugly" even really mean to him? She looked back at him and he noticed the instant flush forming on her cheeks. She asked him why he was staring at her. He looked away and never answered her question. He wanted to tell her that she was beautiful, but the immediate feelings he felt inside were betraying him. He felt his heart racing in an abnormal state and his stomach seemed like it was being twisted into a knot. He felt so hot. He only wished that the darkness surrounding them covered up the redness he knew his cheeks were turning into. Once they got home he painted the exact moment that they were that night. But mostly just her and the sky._

He had finished that painting months ago, but he never got the courage to show it to her, he didn't really understand why. It was an elegant painting and he was able to capture her perfectly but his guts kept telling him not to. He even hid it in a place where Sakura couldn't see just in case she visits him in his apartment without notice.

In spite of that, he kept drawing her without a reference. He was just using his own memories but he was still able to illustrate her flawlessly on his paper. It seemed like he was able to memorize every lines and every curves of her face and body. She was truly fascinating to draw. She was the opposite of him, because unlike him she was made of many colors and emotions. Her hair reminded him of those rosy pink hues that mixes with orange and blue during sunrise. Her eyes were the color of sea that still makes your feet touch the ground.

 _She was art_ _just like nature,_ he told himself. He couldn't help but think of her.

It took him long before he decided to find answers as to what he was feeling. He didn't really want to bother since it was just Sakura. Maybe he did finally find her attractive but he had seen photos of girls on magazines that he found attractive before and those girls never made him feel like this.

He decided to go to the library and finally search for books that might answer his questions.

He took all the books about human emotions again and sat to the nearest table to start reading. Upon reading the books, the word that explained what he was experiencing towards the kunoichi was "infatuation".

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 **That's all for now! I hope you enjoyed. Please leave a review, tell me your thoughts and if you are interested for the next chapter then follow this story so I will know. It will be much appreciated and will motivate me more to keep writing. Constructive criticisms are welcome as well. Thank you, xo!**


	2. Let Me Pick You Up

**Author's Note: Welcome back guys! I'm not very happy with this chapter but I still hope you find it enjoyable to read, I might edit again soon and add more supporting details but for now I'd love to focus on the next chapters since I have already posted this anyway and many of you have read it.**

 **And again, since I'm still somewhat new to writing, I hope my narration doesn't bother you as much, and I apologize for the grammar mistakes!**

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 **Chapter 2 – Let Me Pick You Up**

 _This is called infatuation? I feel such thing because I found Sakura-san attractive and I always want her around and I want her to –_

"Oh, Sai. Why are you here this early?" He heard her voice. The voice which he realized he have come to love even when it was hurting his ear sometimes due to her scolding and yelling whenever she was infuriated. His heart leaped up from excitement, but this wasn't the right time for them to bond, he didn't want her to know what he was reading. He covered the books with his arms and looked at her.

"Good morning, Ug-" Just when he was about to say the word, Sakura slapped his head.

"Don't you dare, I'm not in the mood," she said while her temples were twitching. He rubbed his head out of pain. She walked over to the opposite side of the table and sat in front of him. She placed the three medical books she was holding on the table and opened one of them.

He just stared at her while trying to cover the title of the books he borrowed.

"What are you reading right now?" She asked. With that question, he felt his cheeks become really hot.

"It's not important,"

"Come on, Sai. I might tell you better than these books ever will, especially if it's about feelings,"

"Ah. It's not really any of your concern. In fact, I do not want to be disturbed today, Sakura-san. I have to go now," he said as he stood up from his seat and waved his goodbye to her. Sakura was a little bit hurt about what he just said, _hanging out with her is just a disturbance to him?_ _She thought he was enjoying her company. Did he really have to go sooner and act like he's avoiding her? At least he called her by her name again, right? What was he reading about anyway?_

Sai needed more time to think about the new knowledge he had learned without Sakura's presence. The way the book described "infatuation" was similar to how Sakura was praising Sasuke. She admired his strength and seriousness, how handsome and mature he became, his willingness to change, him seeking for redemption, and most of all, him letting go of all the hate that was in his heart.

Sai contemplated about how Sakura's admiration to Sasuke was the same way as to how he admired her. Her beauty hypnotized him. Her strength and skills always left him in awe. Her kindness and caring for people inspired him. He was infatuated with her, indeed.

He understood now what it was like to like someone! It was what he was feeling towards his female friend all along. This revelation made his heart race so quickly again, his stomach started to feel like there were hundreds of butterflies flying around it. He was happy and excited he realized. He had never done this before but he smiled to himself. _This is new, but it felt great._

While he was walking on the street, he saw Naruto and Hinata from afar. He followed them for a while to observe them. He noticed how Hinata was giggling at what Naruto was telling her and the two were holding each other's hands. They looked very happy together. Sai just remembered that he barely saw Sakura laugh when they were just alone together, she just laughs whenever he does something stupid. A lot of times, Sakura seemed to be down because she was missing the Uchiha. He wondered how he could make her laugh more, he wanted Sakura to be just as happy as how Hinata was with Naruto.

He wanted to have that same relationship with Sakura. _Does this mean he wants Sakura to be his girlfriend?_ The thought of it sent another rush of eagerness in his stomach.

Later that afternoon, he went to the forest to sketch something new that wasn't Sakura. Then, he sensed a familiar chakra nearby. He saw Kakashi sitting on a branch of tree while reading his pornographic novel. He approached him and told him about his realization. He was hesitant at first, but he told him that he liked Sakura. He just really needed help and he knew he just couldn't do it on its own. He was expecting the copy ninja to be surprised, but he was not. Kakashi knew that this was going to happen sooner or later anyway – all people around them knew. It was just Sakura who was reluctant of that _ridiculous_ perception.

"I want to make her laugh, how do I make someone laugh?"

"Well, you tell her funny jokes," Kakashi said, smiling at him.

"What jokes? I don't really understand the concept of them. I only offend people when I tell them my jokes,"

"You have to think of jokes that aren't insulting. Here have a read of this book," Kakashi said as he pulled out another book from his pocket. "I just bought that one earlier and it contains a lot of guides on how you can make a girl happy. You might need that more than I do so I'll just lend that to you for a while. Now excuse me while I continue my "hokage duties"," Kakashi said. Before Sai could thank him, he already left. He still wanted to ask a lot of questions from him but he guessed for now this was enough. The book consisted of pickup lines and puns, it even said that it will guarantee him of winning the girl's heart. None of the jokes made sense to him, but he still memorized some of it and was excited to meet her after her shift from the hospital today. He was so hopeful and delighted, he couldn't wait for Sakura to smile and laugh.

When it was already evening that day, he waited outside the hospital for Sakura. They always eat dinner together when both of them don't have a mission outside Konoha. He used to just eat alone in his apartment and cook his own food as it was more practical. He was used to being lonely but getting closer to Sakura made him long for companionship all the time. It seemed like there was something missing about his day-off when he was not with her.

Once he saw Sakura, his heart lit up. He waved at her and gave her a big smile. Sakura wasn't really expecting Sai to be there due to what he just said earlier at the library about her being a "disturbance" to him. It really bothered her the entire day but she still felt her cheeks flushed when she saw him. She barely saw him smile that genuine and every time he did that, she couldn't help but smile too. _He's adorable_ , she told herself. She loved seeing the boy finally becoming more human than he was before, and she knew she had helped him a lot. She wondered if he was capable of falling in love, but she just took that off her mind. She didn't know what she would feel anyway if Sai falls in love with a different girl – but it's not like she wants him to fall in love with her at all. The only man whom she wanted to, was Sasuke.

Sakura told him about her day at the hospital. The demanding patients, the annoying kids that would keep running in the hallways, and Tsunade-sama giving her more and more paper works. Telling Sai about it helped her release her stress from work, but remembering what he just told her earlier, she didn't want to be a disturbance to him anymore.

"Sai, why are you here anyway? You just told me earlier this morning that my presence only disturbed you, you don't really have to hang out with me if you don't want to," she said, with a hint of discomfort in her voice. Sai was surprised by this, he didn't truly mean that. He enjoyed her company more than anything.

"I didn't mean it, Hag. I was really just busy earlier. Besides, you really need a company more since I've read in the books that people need to let out their feelings or they'll explode. It'll be more hideous to stare at you if you-

"Sai, I get it," she said, cutting him off. She was getting really irritated because she knew that more insults were about to come.

Noticing how unhappy Sakura seemed at the moment, he took that as signal to tell her what he just rehearsed more than five times just for her. He wanted her to smile and feel happy. He thought to himself that it was time to make her happy as she had always made him happy just by being there.

"Sakura-san. Are you a booger?" He looked at her and saw the veins on her temples starting to twitch. "Because I'd pick you first."

"That is disgusting," She responded and giggled at the stupid pickup line. She thought he was insulting her again but he wasn't. It was actually stupidly funny, but whoever taught him this, will get a smack from her for sure.

And Sai's plan succeeded! She actually laughed. He made sure to thank Kakashi when he sees him again. He decided to tell her another joke once more.

"Let me pick you up," now this one was a bit longer and he wasn't sure if he was going to say the exact words so he tried to shorten the line. "… because you look like a trash that fell on the ground."

Well that wasn't funny. Sakura started yelling at Sai, making the entire people on the street look at them. Sai didn't want Sakura to get mad, the line didn't work this time he realized. He immediately thought of another pickup line and hopefully would make her calm down and laugh once again.

"I wish I was a toilet paper," He said.

"What?" She got confused, _he what now?_

"So I could touch your butt," He smiled so proudly at her. He didn't mess up for sure, he said the exact words. Though he didn't understand how touching her butt would make Sakura laugh, he said it anyway as the book said it will turn her on. _What does turning her on even mean?_

Before he knew it, he flew backwards from her monstrous punch.

"YOU PERVERT!" Sakura screamed furiously to his direction.

That didn't went well. All he ever wanted was to make her smile but it only made her angry. As much as he found her so cute when she was mad, he preferred seeing her smiling and laughing more. She was more beautiful that way. He took that as a note to never ask advice from Kakashi ever again.

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 **Thanks for reading! Before you close this I hope you leave me some reviews telling me your thoughts about this chapter or just the entirety of the fic. Even just one word will do, I really do appreciate them a lot and it motivates me to write. Please do follow if you are interested to read the upcoming chapters, just to let me know if any of you want me to keep updating this fic! And as usual, constructive criticisms are all welcome :)**


	3. The Festival

**Author's Note: Hi guys, if you have read this fanfic like a week ago, I just wanted to say that I kind of revised the previous chapters, nothing major changed at all but I made it more sensible (hopefully) and I added a few details to make the story flow better. I suggest reading them once again (I'm sorry) before this chapter if you found that the story was progressing too quickly. Hopefully the revisions I made did help!**

 **PS: I JUST MADE UP THIS FIREWORKS FESTIVAL THING, IM PRETTY SURE THIS DOESNT HAPPEN ON ACTUAL FIREWORKS FESTIVALS BUT HEY IT'S FICTION SO LMAO**

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 **Chapter 3 – The Festival**

He didn't know why his last pickup line didn't work, but he swore to himself to never read that book again. It just led him to a near death experience.

However, despite of all the physical pain she had caused him, he never seemed to ever get angry at her. He didn't mind, but from now on he just didn't want her to feel that emotion. He wanted her to be smiling more often because it makes him feel happy too. It felt weird being happy for someone else's happiness but he guessed that's what "infatuation" really meant.

The next week, he was reminded by Sakura that the Fireworks festival is going to happen in just a few days. She told him about how people actually go to the festival by pair, even if it meant just as friends. People were also meant to wear something formal to the event. The pairings also exchange gifts as part of the celebration. It was a tradition at Konoha every five years and it was Sai's first time to attend to such. She was hopeful that he would ask her to the festival as she didn't really have anyone to go with other than him since everyone in their group were all paired up already, but as usual, the artist was as oblivious as ever.

Sai was intrigued about the upcoming event. Hearing about pairings at a festival meant he would be spending more time with Sakura. As expected, Sai went to the library to read some books about the said festival and gathered more information about it.

The first thing he learned was, you were to ask someone to the festival whom you felt the most connection with. He thought that he could just ask Sakura during the event, he didn't think it was necessary to ask her right away at all.

Secondly, he was supposed to find a gift for their partner, but it has to be something that represents their personality or trait. This, he found to be quite a challenge. He wanted to find something that he knew Sakura will like and not something that will make her want to strangle him to his last breath.

He went to jewelry shops and tried to find gifts for her. He remembered reading in books previously that women loved pendants as gifts. He wondered why silvery pieces of chains were something that women loved to wear, it was just unnecessary.

Luckily, on the fourth shop he went to, he finally found a necklace that may have not represented her wrath, but something that will definitely speak of her beauty.

The pendant was the shape of a cherry blossom. It was perfect.

Third was about the attire. Both sexes will be wearing formal outfits such as kimonos or yukatas on the event, just like what Sakura mentioned the other day.

Naruto invited Sai along the Konoha 11 to go shopping for the clothes they were going to wear and buy gifts for the special occasion.

"Sai, when will you ask Sakura-chan out? She told us she still didn't have a partner to the fireworks festival. Are you even planning to ask her or did you ask someone else already?" Naruto asked.

"Dickless, the books stated that you're only supposed to pair up with someone you've had connections with. I find no reason to ask anybody else as she is the only female companion I have," He stated.

"Whatever ya say, I'm pretty sure you're not the only male friend Sakura have, she has many patients who wanted to court her so ya better ask her now."

Sakura told Naruto yesterday about not having a partner to the festival yet.

He was confused as to how Sai hasn't asked her out yet. Even if the painter was that ignorant, he knew he will make moves on her when he felt like something was right. He was that direct to his actions. Naruto noticed the chemistry between the two lately, in which he assumed that they were already falling in love with each other. As much as Naruto wanted Sasuke to have a happy ending, he did prefer Sakura with Sai. He had always showed more care for her in the past. He never realized it at all until Hinata pointed it out to him.

Sai, on the other hand, was not worried about not asking her to the festival yet. He knew how faithful she was to Sasuke, so whoever those patients were, will be rejected. Like she always did in the past.

Well, he wished he was wrong.

He never really got to hang out with Sakura in the past days as she was always being escorted with Ino, Tenten and Hinata after her work to the hospital. They were busy preparing for the said event. He didn't really want to intrude their "girl time" as how Sakura would call it when she was only hanging out with them. He just decided to ask her during the festival.

It was already evening of the much awaiting event. The girls decided to go as groups to the festival while the boys did the same. When the two groups finally met, they started pairing up and roamed around at the setting place. Naruto was with Hinata, Kiba with Ino, Lee with Tenten, and Temari with Shikamaru. Yes, she travelled all the way to the Leaf Village just for this.

The place that held the event was just by the lake, there were many kiosks selling different kinds of food. The stalls were decorated with colorful led lights and heart shaped papers. Sai looked for Sakura, but she was not with her fellow kunoichis. He didn't understand why she wouldn't be coming with them as they had been hanging out as a group lately. The place was pretty much crowded, there were couples everywhere. The time was going too fast.

As bright and as unique her hair was, you would think that Sai would immediately find her but he didn't, it took him hours and hours to look for her but he still did not succeed. It was almost 11:45 PM, he read in the book that fireworks start to show up to the sky at exactly 12 AM. He didn't want to miss that moment with Sakura. He wanted to watch the fireworks with her. He wanted to give her the necklace already. He wanted to see how happy she would be when she saw that he had gifted her something beautiful, but not as beautiful as her because no piece of jewelry will compare to her beauty.

It was 11:59 PM when he saw that light pink hair, the rosy pink hues he compared to the sunrise. _Finally._ She was wearing a navy blue kimono with pink petals embroidered on the fabric that matched the color of her hair. He almost forgot how to breathe at the sight of her, she was breathtaking. Everyone were counting down to welcome the fireworks in the sky. _9... 8... 7..._ He ran to the crowd but he stopped in the midst when he noticed that she was with someone else. _6... 5..._ It was a tall man with crimson hair. He wasn't a familiar face and he didn't look too much of a shinobi to him. _4... 3..._ Why was she with someone else? Did she have a close connection with him? _2... 1...!_

His heart sunk at the same time he heard the fireworks released into the sky.

Sakura watched as the fireworks were being discharged into the sky. She was amazed by how colorful and alluring the arrangement of the fireworks looked and how it blended with the stars and the moon. It was indeed beautiful, but she wished she was watching it with someone else, someone special to her. She looked around, wishing that she could at least see him once tonight. She felt betrayed for never asking her out, but she still wanted to see him. And she did, she saw a pale man wearing a black kimono, staring blankly at her from afar. Sai.

Her date, Masari, whom she have met just this morning, gave her his gift. It distracted her from looking at Sai because the box was beautifully wrapped. Her cheeks fainted with a flash of red because she didn't really put an effort into her gift to the stranger at all. It was just a box of sweets that she had made which was Sai's favorite dessert. She also bought Sai some art supplies but she figured that he wasn't really going to be her date, but this man whom she just met so she just left the supplies in her apartment.

When she opened the box the size of her palm, she saw a picture frame of the same man she was with. _Is this why no one wanted to date this man in the first place?_ This morning, the man overheard her conversation with the girls about Sai not asking her to the festival yet. They were eating at Konoha's famous barbecue restaurant. The guy approached her and asked her to go with him instead. She couldn't refuse as Ino were bribing her to or she just would go alone and looked like a damn poor loner. She would had rather not go if this was just the end result. As disappointed as she was, she just smiled at the guy and thanked him for his (narcissistic) gift.

She glanced over at the spot where she had first seen Sai, but he wasn't there anymore. She wondered if she was just imagining him. She wondered how her night would have went if it was just Sai. She wondered if he would even give her anything at all. She didn't mind if he wouldn't, she just wanted to be around him.

After the event, the gang invited her along to drink and have a little party of their own, but she rejected when she noticed that Sai wasn't there with them. Naruto told her that they never really saw the artist after they had dispersed as couples. She went straight home, she wasn't really in the mood to drink at all. Walking by the street to her apartment, she saw Sai waiting outside of her door, just leaning on it. She ran up to him and he glanced up to her. When their eyes locked, he smiled widely at her and waved his hand. She would not say this years ago, but Sakura was really happy to see him.

"Sai,"

"Ugly,"

"Don't ruin this night,"

"It's already ruined," he mumbled.

"What?"

"I said, I have a gift for you," he smiled at her. He handed her the small box with red suede wrapped around it.

"You were really not supposed to, we weren't each other's dates," She said as her cheeks heated up.

"I know, but the festival was meant to be celebrated with people whom you have strong connections with, so I decided to buy you a gift."

She opened the box and saw the cherry blossom pendant. It was beautiful. She never thought, of all people, would Sai buy her something this expensive at all. She gaped at him and told him she was very grateful for how thoughtful he was. She really loved it.

"Wait, I bought you a gift too. And I, uh, let me get it in my room. Just wait for me here," She said, as she ran inside her own apartment. Sai was shocked about this. He didn't expect her to buy anything. He felt that rush of excitement in his stomach once again, not really because of the gift, but her.

When Sakura came back, she handed her a bag of art supplies. It had a sketch pad, paint brushes, ink, and acrylic paints in it. It made him extremely happy. He was running low of his supplies.

"I'm sorry if it was too predictable and unoriginal,"

"It's okay, Sakura-san. I'm very thankful, I will put this to good use unlike the necklace that I bought for you which will probably only make you choke considering that you have a fat nec-

Before he could finish his sentence, Sakura wrapped her hand around his neck and strangled him.

"Who's being choked now, you bastard." She said, with a forced smile plastered on her face.

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 **Welp, I didn't expect that to be the ending of this chapter either. Please leave a review before you leave and feel free to follow this story if you're interested to see the next chapters! It's really motivating when people do them, I swear I appreciate it so much! Constructive criticisms are welcome as well xo**


	4. Forgotten

**CHAPTER 4 – Forgotten**

A week after the festival, Sai, Shikamaru and Kiba were assigned to a three-man mission. They escorted a newly-wedded couple to Iwagakure, their lives were at risk due to their wealth, but fortunately they were accompanied by three shinobis who were highly trained and were able to defeat the threat smoothly.

When the three men were on their way home after the mission, Sai wondered if Sakura was still wearing the cherry blossom pendant. She had been wearing it ever since he gave it to her, and he wondered if she still kept it on.

These feelings she made him feel, they were all so pleasant. He didn't know liking someone could cause him this much happiness. He was trained to not experience any emotions when he was still a member of ROOT, thus he could easily kill any enemy with no remorse – it was his only purpose in life anyway. To kill an enemy, nothing more, nothing less.

But Sakura gave him more reasons to live. She made him look forward to each day, she made him feel that there is more to life than following your master's orders, and that emotions weren't signs of weaknesses. She made him realize the importance of bonds to other people, and how wonderful it is to build friendships. It's just really what makes you human and it helps you evaluate the difference between what is right and what is wrong. He would not trade his life now for anything else.

That evening, Sai of course, waited for Sakura outside the hospital. The two reunited once she stepped outside.

"Sai, you're back! How was the mission? Are you okay? No wounds or scratches at all?" Sakura asked, with a little bit of curiosity and worrisome in her voice.

"No need to worry, Hag. I'm perfectly well," he smiled reassuringly, eyeing the necklace he had given her. He didn't know why it mattered if she was still wearing the necklace, but it definitely lightened up his mood.

Ever since that night outside her apartment, Sakura became more cheerful and nicer towards Sai. Whenever he said something offensive, she would stay calm and just smile at him. She also somehow accepted the insulting nicknames because it really was just his way of expressing his bonds to people. She may have had squeezed his neck that night to choke him for calling her fat – not like there's anything wrong about being fat, but she seemed to let the violent side of her disappear for the next few days.

Sai saw her as someone whom he had strong connections with, that made her heart feel so warm. She still was disappointed though that he never asked her to the festival, she would have had enjoyed watching the fireworks with him. And it hit her, Sai makes her happy. As odd as it sounded, being around Sai makes her day so complete. He was smart and thought-provoking, he was always able to translate her thoughts into words – even if sometimes it hurt, but it was the truth. He always helped her looked into reality and get out of her delusions. He was always able to read her, but never degraded her. In fact, he would unintentionally compliment her knowledge.

And let's not forget about the fact that he also had this damn gorgeous face. Gorgeous face? I mean, he did have some resemblance to Sasuke, but when did she… find him _attractive_? Or did she just not want to admit that to herself because of how obnoxious he was when they first met?

Where did these thoughts even come from?

Those onyx eyes, you would think that there was nothing special about it because they seemed to be so empty and hollow but there was something about it that was _so... Seductive? Intriguing?_ And dear lord, sometimes she just wanted to run her fingers through his hair and feel how soft it was. And oh, did she forget about how cute and round his nose was? And those lips, oh how lovely would it be to kiss-

Oh no… no… no…

The thought of it gave her shivers all throughout her body and her cheeks started to burn. She cannot possibly be attracted to him, it's Sai. Of all people in the world, it just cannot be Sai.

Or maybe she really just appreciated the fact that Sai gave her a necklace that was this expensive and beautiful? Yes, it's definitely just it.

Weren't the gifts supposed to be describing the person's trait or personality? Didn't Sai always go by the books? Did this mean Sai thought she was… no, she was overthinking again. That boy was incapable of finding someone attractive, at least not her. He always called her "ugly" or "hag".

They're just friends, good friends. They may have not had a good history, but they learned to cooperate with each other especially during missions. Sai was a nice guy, he just didn't understand the concept of being "sensitive", but still he really was a good friend, a good teammate, a good comrade.

Nothing else.

"Sakura, you've been really quiet today. What are you thinking?" Sai blurted out.

She didn't remember arriving at the canteen already, and ordering food? When did this happen? Was she really in deep thoughts that she just subconsciously ordered her food?

"Oh, nothing. I'm just… really tired of work today. Phew, there were so many patients," she said.

"Is it Sasuke you're thinking about?"

"What? No, no."

"Are you going to eat your food or are you just going to stare in space?"

"Oh, right."

Then out of nowhere, a brown hawk flew towards Sakura and handed her a white envelope it was holding from its beak. There was a "To Sakura" written at the back of the envelope. Sakura's loud, thumping chest made her feel on the verge of puking her heart out. She knew who this letter was from. She recognized the falcon and the penmanship. She opened the envelope and immediately unfolded the paper inside it.

 _Sakura,_

 _I just wanted to let you know that I'm doing fine and there's really nothing you need to worry about. I'm sorry if this is the only time that I'll be returning your messages. I have been really busy, but I will be coming home soon._

 _See you._

 _Sasuke_

And her heart exploded. She could not believe what she had just received. Sasuke finally returned her messages. Sasuke is coming home soon! It's been three years since he left! But he will come back! Sasuke will come home!

She felt her eyes started watering, she wanted to control it since they're in a public place but they just wouldn't cooperate. It was too late, she began crying, crying of joy… no… crying of happiness. Yes, this is happiness. She will finally be reuniting with the love of her life. _Finally. All these years of waiting and praying to Kami, they were all worth it. They were all fucking worth it._

Was she just dreaming? Was this real? How soon is soon?

Sai, on the other hand, had read the letter too. He was peeking on her shoulder the entire time. The Uchiha will be coming back, and he recognized her cries as something positive. These were tears of happiness, as these weren't the tears she would shed in front of him when she was missing Sasuke. Sakura buried her head on his chest while sobbing.

Sai put his arms around her and pulled her in closer. He didn't understand what he was feeling. He felt his chest clenching, it was a different sensation when Sakura would make his heart flutter. This one hurt. Sakura was happy and he wanted her to be happy. This is Sakura's happiness, Sakura is happy right now, but he wasn't. His heart was shattering.

It was the moment he realized that he could never make Sakura happy, because Sakura's happiness was Sasuke. Sakura could never be his, that she loved Sasuke, and Sasuke only.

Why did he think that he would somehow make her feel the same way for him? It was obvious that he wanted his feelings to be returned. He never thought about it until now, but it just proved to be foolish. He never had any idea of how to do that in the first place.

He didn't want the Uchiha to come back, he didn't want her to be with him, no. Sakura was his, she was never Sasuke's. All Sasuke ever did to Sakura was hurt her, but why? Why was Sakura so in love with him? Why would Sakura love someone who only caused her pain almost her entire life? Sasuke only kept pushing her but Sakura was just too stubborn. What did Sakura see in Sasuke that she didn't see in him? He was always here for her, comforting her, never leaving her, making her smile, listening to her, supporting her. Sasuke never did. Sasuke didn't deserve Sakura, he never will.

"Sakura, you're making my shirt wet. You should stop wasting the fluids in your body," he stated.

"Right. I'm sowwy, I'm jwust, swo hwappy that Swasuke-kun will cwome bwack," she said as she started sobbing on his shirt again.

He have definitely read this from a book somewhere, and he knew that this was what people feel when they don't want someone they like to be with someone else.

He was jealous.

* * *

 **Thanks for reading! This is where things will start. Hope you'll stick around by the end. I know I should have elaborated Sai's mission with Kiba and Shikamaru but it's just not really that important to the story. I just wanted to add it so it doesn't seem like all Sai ever did was follow Sakura around lmao. Also, before you leave I'll truly appreciate it if you give me some feedback! Just let me know your thoughts and if you are interested for the next chapters then follow this story so I will know! It will truly motivate me to keep writing!**


	5. Blinded

**Chapter 5 – Blinded**

When Sasuke finally replied to Sakura's messages, the medic seemed to be much livelier and friendlier to everyone she passed by on the street and on the hallways of the hospital. She had been more productive to her work and even became more enthusiastic when she was given heavier tasks by her master. She wasn't sure how soon Sasuke will come back but she didn't care, she was excited and was extremely hopeful again. In all honesty, there was that point where she was losing hope and believed that he decided not to come back anymore, but he would be. He kept his promise and he was alive. He reminded her of that certainty through a letter, and that's all that mattered. Nothing could ever change her mood then.

Two months later, Sasuke finally arrived to the Leaf. He had been traveling for three years ever since he left Konoha after the war and his one last battle with Naruto. He thought it was time to go back home and serve his own village, even for a short while.

He was welcomed by his old teammates, Sakura, Naruto and Kakashi at the gates of Konoha, just like how he said goodbye to them before he left. He felt so nostalgic.

"Teme! You're finally back!" Naruto said, grinning at him.

Knowing Sakura, she gave him a warm hug with tears falling down on her cheeks and Sasuke gladly accepted it and put his remaining arm on her back – which made her eyes open widely. She wasn't anticipating for him to return the hug at all. Her cheeks flushed deeply even more.

Sakura paid attention to how much he had changed appearance wise over the last three years. He got taller, mature, more muscular and more handsome. His other eye was covered with his hair to hide his rinnegan. He let his hair grew slightly longer than usual. She really felt the change in him and the experiences he had encountered during his redemption.

And clearly, Naruto wanting to ruin the romantic moment, he joined the hug as well, making Sakura want to pummel him later that day. Kakashi just smiled at them behind his mask. The three was like his children.

Sai was there too, but he was not there with them. He was watching them up a tree, he didn't really want to meet that damn Uchiha at all. Sakura invited him to welcome Sasuke with them earlier that day, but he declined her request as he told her that he didn't really have any connections with him, so it didn't matter if he was there or not. Sakura insisted as he was part of their team too, but she let go when she became aware just how different Sai acted lately. He seemed... _grumpy_. Since when did Sai learn about being grumpy?

He was not happy about his homecoming. He saw Sakura hugging Sasuke and his chest just ached. He noticed that he had been feeling this way all these years when Sakura would talk about Sasuke. It was not a new feeling, he was jealous all along but was too unfamiliar about the sensation – hence why he never wanted to trust him in the first place. His opinion was biased. He had been crushing on Sakura for so long, it just flourished just a year back when they would hang out more often. It was crazy to him that he didn't realize sooner.

Naruto held a party that night in his apartment for Sasuke. It was a surprise. Sasuke was irritated at Naruto at first for holding "such unnecessary occasion" but didn't mind later on. All the Konoha 11 together with their senseis were invited to the party.

Sakura was all too excited for the night, she wore a dark pink dress with a matching red headband. She did a little bit of shopping with Ino a week ago just for the party, she really wanted to look her best tonight.

After getting ready, she soon walked out of her apartment and on her way to Naruto's, then she passed by Sai who was walking the opposite way.

"Oi, Sai! Where are you going? Why are you not dressed yet? Come on, let's go to Naruto's," she said as she was approaching the pale man.

"Ah. I'm not going, Hag. Have fun though," Sai said with a fake smile plastered on his face, the smile that Sakura knew all too well and hated.

"What do you mean you're not going? You have to! You haven't properly met Sasuke-kun yet and everyone's going, you idiot!" Sakura said. She held his wrist to make sure that he was walking with her. She didn't understand why he was being asocial again all of a sudden.

When they had already arrived at Naruto's apartment, almost everyone was already there. The girls were on the couch watching TV and playing card games, while the guys were on the kitchen eating and drinking. As soon as Sakura saw Sasuke, she went over to him and left Sai behind. Fortunately to Sai, the other guys in the room invited him to drink with them.

The entire time, Sakura was trying to have a conversation with Sasuke. It felt awkward at first, but then Ino came up to them and tried flirting with Sasuke too. Ah yes, she thought the rivalry have ended between them and Ino finally gave up with Sasuke, but it wasn't really the case now. When Sasuke noticed the two already arguing, he politely left without their knowledge and got himself another drink.

The night ended with everyone being too drunk that some of them already left while others just slept in Naruto's sofa. Sasuke was nowhere to be seen too. Sakura, fortunately, didn't really get drunk at all. She probably had only two shots. She was busy arguing with Ino about who was better at everything, just like the good ol' days. When she was about to leave Naruto's apartment, Sai came up to her. She noticed his cheeks being so red from the alcohol and how tipsy he seemed. _He looked cute_ , she thought.

"Sai, you're still here? I thought you already left earlier."

"I should w-walk you h-home,"

"No, you should just stay here for the night, you're drunk,"

"Sakura."

"I can handle myself, do you even know who you're talking to? Idiot."

"S-Sakura, you're very p-pretty," he mumbled.

"What?" She heard him the first time but she must be dreaming. Even then, she still blushed furiously and again, she wasn't even drunk.

"You're really pretty, U-ugly, have I ever told you that?"

"Okay, you're really drunk, Sai." She didn't want to admit, but she was really pleased with what he had just told her. He called her pretty, twice. Not once, but _twice._ People become honest when they're drunk and she knew that. Sai found her pretty all this time but was just purposely making fun of her. The thought of it made her feel like her stomach was upside down. She noticed that she was smiling all the way home. She wanted to believe that she was smiling like an idiot because of Sasuke being home, but it wasn't what was clouding her mind that time. It was Sai's compliment.

She was annoyed the entire party because instead of spending the night talking with Sasuke, she was arguing immaturely with Ino instead. Sai, however, definitely made her night. She didn't know a simple, stupid compliment from a stupid, annoying stoic _friend_ of hers would affect her positively.

She wasn't even aware that Sasuke was actually there watching them, she was too preoccupied.

The next days were filled with determination. She was glad that Ino didn't seem to take interest in flirting with Sasuke anymore after the party, it was easier to get his attention now because she'll have more alone time with him. Every time she would see Sasuke, she would come up to him and have a conversation. She would invite him to lunch and dinner. Sometimes he would reject, other times he would accept. She didn't want to lose hope, she wanted to be with him so she was doing her very best to make him like her. This was her chance again to finally make him hers. They even had a sparring once to impress him and he actually was astonished by her strength but he didn't want to tell her that.

Sai felt so… _replaced_. He could barely find the time to be with Sakura, every time he saw her, she was already with Sasuke. It's like Sakura had completely forgotten about him and all the bonding they've had. It hurt him so badly, but Sasuke was the one that makes Sakura happy. He had no place to interrupt them.

Suddenly, he had seen Sakura not wearing the necklace he had given her. He didn't know when was the last time she kept it on but he still saw the pendant the last few days.

Material things didn't matter to him, and it's not a big deal. So what if she stopped wearing it? It's not the end of the world, it didn't indicate that she hated him. But why did it feel like he was being stabbed in the stomach with three thousand knives?

All this time he perceived that being infatuated with someone was the best feeling he had ever experienced, but it wasn't. He didn't expect that this would be the end result. He didn't know he'll experience jealousy too? He felt like shit, he hated this feeling so much that he sometimes just wanted to explode.

This was more tormenting than actually almost dying during battles. He had experienced those, but she was always there to heal him.

But this was something she couldn't heal. Not with the thought of her being with someone else.

He wished he was still "emotionless" when he was just happy a few months back for having feelings toward someone. True, no human was incapable of feeling, but with all those years of training from ROOT, he was able to control his thoughts and not react to it. It was much better than this. He couldn't do it now that he was feeling all too much. He hated it.

He wanted to kill the Uchiha, if it weren't for him he wouldn't undergo this pain. He would have made Sakura like him. He didn't know how but he'd do everything, he wanted her so bad.

But he couldn't do that.

Sasuke was her happiness.

Sasuke was whom she loved.

She had sacrificed so much for him and he knew that once Sasuke was gone, she would be suffering forever. He didn't want that. He wanted her to be happy even if it meant it would be with Sasuke.

Her happiness was more important than his.

After five months of Sasuke's stay, Sakura was already losing hope. She was happy that Sasuke came back, but she didn't know why she had assumed that he would finally let her in his heart.

Sasuke once asked her who gave her that necklace she was wearing. It was weird that he was curious, it just seemed a bit out of character, she thought.

"Oh, Sai gave it to me during the Fireworks festival last year! Isn't it gorgeous? I didn't know that idiot had a good taste for jewelries! I guess it's part of an artist's nature. Haven't I mentioned to you before that he is an amazing painter? You should see his works!" After telling him that, Sasuke appeared to have a distaste look in his face. Whatever it meant, she just stopped wearing the necklace the next days.

She believed that everything was progressing very well between them, she thought she finally had the chance. He mostly gladly accepted her company. He was so much nicer and more polite to her now, he would even share little stories about his experiences during his journey, which she was so happy to hear but she still couldn't help but feel sympathetic to him due to all the things he had gone through.

But she was glad to see the change it did to him.

She lost all her hope when Sasuke just told her recently that he would be leaving again soon to continue his redemption. His stay in Konoha was just temporary and that he needed more redemption. That broke her heart, she thought he was done! But no, he's not. She didn't understand why he needed more but just like what she did in the past, she asked him if she could come with him.

He rejected her offer.

"As I have already told you before, Sakura, you have nothing to do with my sins."

She couldn't contemplate why it mattered, all she ever wanted was to be with him. She didn't care how hard the journey would be, she was strong! She was a skilled medic! She had surpassed her master's power! She could handle everything, she would help him forgive himself and remedy his pain. She would do everything for him and with him.

"Why does it matter? Why don't you just let me in and I will help you, Sasuke! I will help you find the peace in your soul. I will accompany you in your journey and we will both learn together! I have loved you all these years, I have always waited for you and never stopped wishing for you! I will love you until the end of time! I never stopped."

He vanished and she was left behind with no answers. Just like he always did.

Sai noticed that Sakura was no longer spending her free time with Sasuke. He wondered why. Even if he hated him, he still wished it wasn't because he was mistreating her again. He would literally kill that damn Uchiha if he found out that he was.

He waited her outside the hospital after her shift.

"Sakura, did you know that you look even uglier when you're frowning?" He said.

"Funny, because when you were drunk you actually called me pretty."

That made him blush. He didn't remember saying that to her at all, but his drunk self was not lying at all.

"Being drunk really makes someone stupid,"

"You're always stupid,"

"How are you, though? I haven't seen you a while with your precious Sasuke-kun," as soon he said his name, Sakura clenched her fist.

"Sai, I give up."

"What do you mean? Is he mistreating you again?"

"No! It's nothing like that... It's just... I-I don't know what made me think that once he's back, he'll finally be able to open himself for something new. I thought he could finally return my feelings. I was a fool, you can't force someone to love you back! Why did I think that just because he tapped my forehead and told me that he would be back meant him finally reciprocating my feelings? I'm stupid for speculating too much! I shouldn't have expected anything, now I'm broken all over again."

Sakura started whimpering. It was clear to him that there was nothing more he hated than seeing her cry. He would rather get hurt than seeing her like this. Sai put her in his arms and embraced her tightly. She held his shirt and balled up her fist, and cried even harder on his chest.

"It's not too late, Sakura. It's only been five months since he's been here. You can't expect him to like-

"It's no use, Sai. He'll be leaving again in two days. And besides, I should be happy that he has changed for the best and that he came home even if it's not permanent. I should be happy that he's okay, I actually am happy for him, but I am so broken because… I am so broken because I am so selfish!"

"You're the most selfless person I know. You are broken because… you love someone who doesn't love you back… but it didn't mean that you are selfish. If you were then you would have taken his freedom or killed him for causing you so much pain… Being broken was just part of falling in love, you can't help but wish you were his happiness too. If you can't make him love you then it's time to let go… but in your case, it is not yet too late. That bastard is just blind."

It hit him, he was in love with her. This was not just infatuation. He finally was able to differentiate infatuation from love. He loved her so much that he would do everything for her to be happy, he didn't care what it was. He didn't care if it meant him hurting. He just didn't want her to hurt.

"What the hell? Where did you learn this?" she asked. She pushed herself away from him and looked at him in his eyes. She was really surprised by his answer, since when did he learn something about love? And since when did those onyx eyes of his look so tender and comforting?

"Book." He lied. He learned it the moment he realized he was just as broken as her. The only difference was, he didn't stand a chance. He knew that there was no way someone cannot love Sakura, who wouldn't? Sasuke was just a coward.

He hated that bastard for hurting her like this again, but he valued her happiness more than anything.

He had decided to confront Sasuke tomorrow.

* * *

 **I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Thank you for the positive feedbacks by the way, they all meant so much to me! I'm also so happy that you guys liked the fourth chapter! Haha, I guess the third one must be really too cringey and corny! I didn't like it much either. Anyway, please review and just let me know your thoughts. As always, constructive criticisms are all welcome.**

 **PS, I don't know if any of the characters are OOC, hopefully I was able to portray them correctly. If I didn't then I do apologize. It's just a fanfic after all and we create our own imaginations!**


	6. Happiness

**Hi guys! I know it took me almost two weeks to update, I had to blame it to my writer's block. Anyway, I hope you'll enjoy reading this chapter and please leave a review after reading, just wanted to know your thoughts and if there are any constructive criticisms you'd love to share.**

* * *

 **Chapter 6 – Happiness**

Never once in his life did he think that he would do this, but here he was, approaching Sasuke Uchiha for the first time in his life and not aiming for his death.

He didn't really know where he lived or his whereabouts on a daily, but he easily found him. He was at the woods alone, presumably practicing his newly discovered jutsu or just standing there for no reason. Sai found the latter kind of funny. It was the right time to confront him, although he didn't know exactly what to do in these types of situations. He had no idea how he will convince a man who had rejected a girl multiple times - but he had to do it for the sake of Sakura.

He barely had bonded with Uchiha, and those rare moments only happened when Naruto would invite the entire team 7 to eat at Ichiraku's. They never really had a conversation at all. Sasuke just didn't seem to like him, but he found that he felt the same. Sasuke would glare at him most of the time, and he would smile at him in return.

"Hello," Sai greeted him with an empty smile on his face. He saw that his famous sharingan was activated but it turned black again when Sasuke faced him. He really was practicing because as far as he knew, it's just the two of them alone in the woods and he was not sparring with anyone.

Sasuke eyed him curiously, he had heard a lot about this stoic man and his strange attitude. He never really wished to be alone with him at all.

"What do you want?" Sasuke asked calmly.

"I want you to take Sakura with you before you go."

"What?" Sasuke blinked his eye. He had not envisioned this. Of all people who would ask him this, it would definitely be Naruto or Kakashi, but never Sai - especially noticing just how he seemed to be crushing on Sakura. He wouldn't want to be away from her, would he? It just didn't make sense to him.

"I said I want you-

"I heard what you said. And why are you telling me this? Did she ask you to?" He raised his right eyebrow. He knew Sakura wouldn't ask him a favor just like this, but he was confused.

"No, I'm doing this without her knowledge. Take her with you, Sasuke." Sai insisted, sounding more serious than he was.

"What kind of twisted martyrdom is this? You're letting go of your precious little cherry blossom?" He knew about the cherry blossom necklace he gave to her. It was corny and pathetic, he thought. "I know, I can see it from your actions that you want her for yourself, so what is this sick game you're playing?" Sai was able to recognize the irritation in his voice, but he didn't really care at all.

"I'm not playing games, I genuinely want you to take her with you. You are Sakura's happiness, and I-I want her to be happy." It pained him to say this, he hated that Sasuke was Sakura's happiness, he wished it was him instead because he would have treated her better. He would never leave her. He would shower her with love and affection that she wouldn't stop being happy. He mindlessly balled up his fists with the thought of it.

"Look, I don't know what exactly you want to happen with your romantic fantasies but get me out of it, and stop trying to be Sakura's hero." Sasuke said, trying to mask his voice with calmness, but ended up sounding more irritated and bothered.

"I wish you knew how much Sakura's going through because of you. All she ever did was to keep loving you and yet all you did was hurt her, you broke her again." He glared at Sasuke. He hated saying this, he hated that he couldn't do anything than to do this, because he knew that only Sasuke would fix her.

Sasuke did not move nor did he show any emotion in his face. He just stared at his eyes, examining him. He realized that this annoying guy could actually pass as an Uchiha, he had the resemblance to his clan. Is this why Sakura was so drawn to him?

"Sasuke, are you afraid?" Well, those words flickered his visible eye. He was surprised. Sasuke was not afraid of anything but he knew where this was going. "Are you afraid of falling in love?"

"You know nothing about me."

Sasuke walked out, thankful that Sai didn't follow and bother him more, but Sai knew that his last question provoked him.

Sasuke lost his family at such a young age, his whole clan was wiped out by his beloved older brother, Itachi. He said he did it to test his strength, and that only fueled Sasuke's anger and hatred towards the world. He wanted revenge, he wanted to kill his brother. It turned out that Itachi did it all to save the village from the rebellion of their clan and for him to live. His brother loved him more than anything. He wished he knew all of this then he wouldn't have lost his brother.

It was traumatizing for him to lose the last person on earth that he loved. It only led him to even more loathsome.

After his three years of redemption, he decided to come back to Konoha and visit his friends. He promised Sakura that he would come home. Even if excitement wasn't something he usually felt, he actually was delighted to reunite with her. He showed her a gesture of affection that he and Itachi only shared when they were young. It was special to him, and he wanted to share that with Sakura, as she was special to him too.

Freeing the hatred in his heart opened him to love again, and it was so surreal when she welcomed him in hers with an open heart. She never hated him when he deserved it. He almost killed her twice in the past but she didn't care. Remembering those memories made his heart ache a little bit, he was so imprudent. He would never forgive himself if she was murdered because of him. Her heart was so kind and full of love yet she would only lend it to someone who had sinned.

But ever since he came back, there was something so different about her now. She still showed her interest in him, what with her constant company, but it seemed that her heart was occupied by someone else too.

It was that man who was talking to him just earlier, convincing him to take her with him.

Whenever Sakura would join him in his walk, she would always find a way to talk about Sai. Even if it was just brief, it really annoyed him. He didn't know if she was just making him jealous but it sure was working.

But the fact that whenever they pass by Sai or whenever Naruto invited the whole team 7 to eat at Ichiraku's, he could see the way she looked at Sai, like she was hiding something, but she herself was clueless.

And that night after the welcome party for him, he saw the two talking by Naruto's door. He assumed that Sakura would reject him, but he could see it in her face that he was making her feel something, something he thought she only felt towards Sasuke.

He came back to ask her to join him in his journey, and to finally be with her. To have a family with her throughout his quest, but seeing that there was someone else in her heart already gave him a realization that she was better off without him. She was happier here. He was too late. She found someone else already that would certainly treat her better even if he didn't know him very well.

He didn't want to believe what Sakura had just confessed to him for the last time, he knew she was just blinded by the love she had for him in the past, she was holding onto him because he promised he would come back and she promised she would wait.

Perhaps, it wasn't too late, maybe jealousy was just overwhelming his thoughts, he was just overthinking all of this. Sakura loved him and would do anything for him, she had promised that to him a thousand times.

She was his and he was hers.

He finally had come to a conclusion to let her join him in his travel even if he had already rejected her offer. It was a sudden decision but he had thought about this long before he came back. It was just Sai's existence that made him changed his mind, and funny thing is he was also the one that convinced him now to take her.

Later that night, he walked his way to Sakura's apartment, he had been there a few times. Sakura often invited him to cook dinner for the two of them, and he only rejected her offer when he was busy. He just felt contented in her presence and how welcoming her home was.

As soon as he arrived outside her apartment, he jumped into her balcony. He saw that the lights were still on in her room. He knocked twice on the glass door that was covered with a white curtain on its opposite side.

He waited a few seconds then he saw the door opening. A flash of pink hair appeared by the door, she was wearing her pajamas already. It was understandable as it was already 10pm. He saw it at the clock that was embedded on the left wall of her room. Maybe he went to her apartment a little too late.

"S-Sasuke! W-what are you doing here?" Sakura asked, her cheeks were starting to form a pink hue that matches the color of her hair. Why would Sasuke be in her balcony, knocking in her room this late at night? She noticed that he was starting to flush from embarrassment too.

"Sakura, pack your bags. We'll leave tomorrow before lunch time."

"What? Where-, are you taking me with you?" Her eyes were widening in disbelief but her voice were filled with excitement and enthusiasm. Sasuke just nodded.

"I'm going to leave now, I have to pack my things too."

"O-of course. See you," she said. Sasuke nodded and jumped down to the ground.

Sakura could not believe what just happened. Did Sasuke finally decide that he wanted her to accompany him? Wasn't she just crying over him because he just rejected her one more time? What changed his mind? Did it even matter now?

She quickly opened her closet and took the clothes and all the other stuffs she needed for the long journey. She also did not forget her medical kits and experiments along with her. She was certain she needed those.

She felt so electrified that she could not sleep the entire night after packing. This was actually going to happen, and she was going to be with Sasuke. What would even happen during their journey? Did this mean that they're officially lovers now? Was Sasuke going to return the love she had always prayed and wished for?

She didn't know, but she was happy. She was excited. She was thankful. She soon fell asleep with tears pouring down her pillow and a smile outlining on her lips.

The next morning, Sakura went to Ino's apartment to tell her that she was going to leave the village with Sasuke before noon.

"This is so sudden! Are you sure? You're just going to leave the hospital just like this for him?" Ino exclaimed, furrowing her brows.

"I don't know how long it will take but it doesn't matter, I'll still come back. I don't think Sasuke will be traveling forever. He finally wanted me to accompany him and that's all that matters," she said, trying to convince her.

"Are you really sure about this? What about Sai?"

Sakura was baffled, she was not anticipating this.

"Sai? What do you mean? We're just friends, how many times do I have to tell you that?"

"I just, I just thought that you and Sai just get along very well, you know. Sometimes you guys even looked more like a couple, and I think he really liked you too."

She felt a sharp knife gashed through one of her organs, but there was none. It was just a sickening sensation. She just remembered that Sai was just hugging her the other day to comfort her. It was really sweet.

"That's stupid, Ino. I get along with Naruto too, but we're just friends just like I am with Sai. I get along with all my comrades. Besides, Sai doesn't know how to like someone, he's practically incapable of it. And stop pushing him to me. You know damn well that Sasuke is the only one I love and I will do anything for him."

"Whatever you say, I hope I don't see this guy being so broken because you abandoned him," Ino rolled her eyes at Sakura.

"I am not abandoning him, we're still friends even when I'm away, Ino. He is- he is very important to me along with Naruto and you and Hinata and Master Tsunade and Kakashi-sensei and just the entire Konoha 11."

"Alright, alright, Forehead. I'll just. Miss you so much you stupid. I'm so happy for you too."

"I'll miss you too, Ino pig."

After visiting Ino, Sakura visited her master, her colleagues at the hospital, the hokage, Naruto, and the rest of her friends to tell them her goodbyes. They were all so warm to her and congratulated her for finally being with Sasuke. She felt so happy and at the same time, upset. She was really going to miss all of them, they were her second family. She was also going to miss the perfect temperature of the village and the familiar civilians. She was going to miss her best friend too, who was always there for her, listening to her stupid ramblings and him always commenting the most obnoxious a man could ever speak of. She didn't want to admit it, but he really made her happy, he made her laugh quite a lot even if he was unaware of it. She didn't really expect that she would be this attached to Sai, especially remembering how cold he was on their first encounter. Speaking of him, she didn't even see Sai anywhere, she looked for him everywhere but he was just nowhere to be found. Kakashi told her that he was not even on a mission at all. She tried to visit him in his apartment but there seemed to be no one in there.

"Sakura, are you ready?" Sasuke asked. They met at the gates of Konoha.

"Um, yeah I am," she lied.

"Are you sure? Seems like you still haven't done something important," Sasuke said, noticing the weary smile in her face.

"Teme! Sakura-chan!" Naruto yelled. Sakura and Sasuke just stared at the blonde boy as he was approaching them. "Oi, teme. Break Sakura-chan's heart one more time and I'll break your neck, alright?"

"Dobe,"

"Naruto, shut up!" Sakura exclaimed. "You still didn't see Sai?"

Hearing that Sakura was actually looking for Sai irritated Sasuke. No wonder she was acting uneasy.

"Ah, Sakura-chan. Sorry, I really don't know where that idiot is. But don't worry I'll tell him your goodbye!" Naruto said, panting a little bit from running as he stretched his arm to give her a thumbs up. Sakura just frowned at him. "Also, you should go back on my wedding, okay?"

"Wedding? You already proposed to Hinata?" Sakura's eyes widened in surprise. This was such a good news.

"No, but I will be, soon! Just be sure that you'll be back on my wedding day, both of you!"

"Of course, good luck Naruto." She pulled Naruto in her arms and gave him a one last embrace.

"Hn." Sasuke grunted.

While she was hugging Naruto, she saw Sai approaching them. He was wearing his shinobi uniform and his large scroll at his back. She quickly pushed herself away from Naruto and ran towards Sai.

"Oi, Sai! I was just looking for you!" Naruto yelled as he watched the two reuniting. Sasuke was just even more annoyed now.

"Sakura," Sai said.

"S-Sai! You're here! I looked for you everywhere and I couldn't find you!"

"I'm sorry."

"I'm accompanying Sasuke in his journey and I-I don't know when we will be back."

"I've heard."

"Be sure to be nice to everyone, okay? Don't piss off too many people, I can't back you up now that I'll be gone."

"Okay," he said, giving her a warm sincere smile that he only mostly shared to her.

She hugged him. Sasuke just stood there impatiently and watched them.

"Thank you for always being there for me, Sai. I'll miss you," she said, she was starting to get even more emotional. She could already feel the tears wanting to escape her eyes but she was able to control it. She had cried so much already earlier in front of her friends and she didn't want to cry any longer. Especially not in front of Sai, she might not be able to stop holding him in her arms. It never really crossed her mind that it would be this hard to say goodbye to him.

"I'll miss you too."

And that's when she lost it. She felt how genuine his words were. She started crying on his neck and hugged him closer. She couldn't help it. _This stupid man and his stupid, stupid snowy white skin_ that felt so warm against her and making her not wanting to let go.


	7. The Journey

**Chapter 7 – The Journey**

It was the perfect time to travel, the breeze was not too cold nor was the heat burning their skins. No wonder Sasuke decided to start the journey the other day, he must have learned the patterns of the weather due to his frequent traveling. Those little things were something that Sakura admired about him, he was wise. Even if Sasuke wasn't one to open about his thoughts, Sakura was still able to learn who he was and she knew her boundaries. She was observant of his actions, but she still wanted to know more about him and see the softer and delicate side of him. She thought that this was the opportunity to know him better.

It was actually happening, this wasn't a dream. 12 year old Sakura would have been squealing and giggling of happiness by now, but the adult version of herself was now mature. Remembering her young self made her cringe, but she guessed it was Ino's competitiveness that made her that way. Besides, she was just a child, she convinced herself.

The two had barely talked about anything in the past two days, mostly it was Sakura trying to bring up random conversations and Sasuke would respond with a few words or would just nod at her to show that he was listening. He was really just a quiet guy, but particularly more quiet during their traveling. She reckoned he was just used to silence as he had mostly been alone in the past three years. She didn't mind the silence as it wasn't truly awkward at all. It was actually quite comfortable and peaceful, and something new.

But she wouldn't lie to herself and say that she wouldn't miss Naruto's loud mouth and her bickering with Sai, she just loved those two so much.

When it was already almost evening, Sakura and Sasuke stopped by the nearest cave they could find deep in the forest and decided to rest there for the night.

Sasuke made a campfire with his fire jutsu after collecting tree branches and stacking them in a circular form, while Sakura fished at the nearest lake before the sun fully sets. She only caught two fishes as she still had some more apples and beef jerky inside her bag.

The two sat next to each other on the ground and cooked their raw fishes in silence. The sun has fully set and the surrounding was only illuminated by the campfire.

"Sakura, do you really want to do this?" Sasuke blurted out without looking at her. Sakura looked at him with her eyes completely wide open. She was a little bit disoriented with his question.

"Wha-at?"

"We can always come back, you don't have to do this." He reassured, still not making an eye contact with her.

"Sasuke-kun, I've always wanted to be with you. I am happy that you let me accompany you. It's an honor, even." She said as she hugged her legs and laid her chin over her knees. She wished the reflection of the fire was able to mask her reddening cheeks.

Sasuke remembered the sadness on Sakura's face after leaving Konoha. He regretted ever considering to take her with him, it was even worse when he detected the lies on her face when she gave him the biggest smile she could muster as soon as they left.

 _Let's go, Sasuke-kun! This is going to be exciting!_

He didn't want to overthink it. Perhaps, she didn't realize how hard it was to leave her own hometown and her friends behind, especially knowing that it's not going to be a short journey. It's nothing compared to her month-long missions outside the country.

And it surely was not about Sai.

She would get used to it once they had arrived to their first destination, her positive energy will come back.

After eating their dinner, the two slipped into their own sleeping bags and rested. They would be leaving very early the next day.

It took them another day to arrive to the nearest village. The first thing they did was to find an apartment where they could stay for a few months before they start traveling again.

They rented a place that was close to the market and the hospital, which was big enough to accommodate two people. They had separate bedrooms but were adjacent to each other.

Days go by with Sasuke helping in the reconstruction of some buildings that were destroyed during the hurricane in the village recently while Sakura volunteered at the hospital to heal patients. Sasuke had been in this village a couple of times and he was already known by many residents because of his heroism when the town was attacked by rogue ninjas two years ago. Some still didn't trust him as he was known to be a villain in the past, but most would see him now as their hero.

Sakura was impressed by it, she was happy that he had done something noble, and she was very proud of him. She knew Sasuke couldn't really please everyone no matter what he does, so she just brushed the negativity away.

They only stayed at that village for five months. The reconstruction was just too fast and Sasuke didn't feel the need to stay there anymore. The nurses and fellow doctors persuaded her to stay longer as she instantly became the patients' favorite healer due to her fast and incredible skills, but she had to refuse because of Sasuke. Sakura was kind of upset too because she wasn't really able to explore the entire town and befriended a lot of employees at the hospital since she got really too busy with the patients, but she must admit that she had enjoyed her time in the village with Sasuke.

It took two days for them to arrive to their next destination. Sasuke, habitually, picked the perfect day again to travel. It did not rain nor was the sun was too glaring for them to sweat so much during their walking. Sasuke also summoned his gigantic falcon to help them travel faster. Sakura was feeling quite awkward and shy next to Sasuke every time the falcon was flying too fast because he had to hold her closer in his arms so she wouldn't fall. The traveling was quiet and peaceful just like their previous trip.

After reaching the next village, they looked for an apartment to stay at, just like they did before. Sakura noticed that the village was much livelier and a little more crowded than the previous town they've visited. They had a hard time to find a vacant apartment, since there were already many people living in this town. Fortunately, before the evening, they finally found one. It was much smaller than the place they've stayed at from the other village and it was a little farther from the hospital and much nearer to the mountain. Still, Sakura thought it was a nice place because they had an enchanting view of the mountain outside the balcony.

She stayed at the balcony for several minutes and stared at the mountain.

Sai would have loved to draw this view, she thought. She wondered how many paintings and drawings he had done with the art supplies she gave him after the festival. He only showed her one of his creations then and it was the whole leaf village – its bird's eye view. It was beautiful and fully detailed. It was so realistic that she even thought it was a photograph at first. She wished she had asked him to show her more of his newer works but she had forgotten about it when Sasuke finally came back.

Weeks go by with Sasuke again helping with the reconstruction of buildings and Sakura healing the patients at the hospital. It was usually the only help they could do since there's barely any attack from the enemies nowadays.

Sakura had gained some friends at the hospital right away, contrary to her experience from the previous village. She became very close to a nurse named Mayu, a 25 year old blonde haired woman with purple eyes. She was an inch shorter than her. Mayu reminded her of both Ino and Hinata. You would think that it's impossible for a person to possess opposite qualities at the same time, but Mayu did. She was calm and reserved, but still very liberated and talkative. Sakura thought it was a good mix, although she could be annoying at times for being kind of invasive.

"I didn't expect you'd hit some jackpot there," Mayu said as she giggled after seeing Sasuke's face for the first time. It was the only time Sasuke walked her to the hospital in the morning and she found it so strange since he had never done it before. Mayu had seen Sasuke from afar every day after their work when he would fetch her. "He's so handsome."

Sakura just shrugged. She was used to people complimenting Sasuke with his looks, every time a girl would lay their eyes on him she could already tell they fancied him. It bothered her so much when they were 12, but now she didn't mind.

"Is he good in bed too?"

Sakura blushed at the thought. Yet, just another invasive question from her.

"Eh? To tell you the truth we've never even kissed, so stop asking such personal questions like that, Mayu!" She didn't want to disclose such thing as it might sounded like Sasuke was not interested in her at all, mainly because Mayu might not understand Sasuke's complexities.

Whenever they came home after work, the two would just eat their dinner together, talk a little bit about their day then they go back to their respective bedrooms to rest. On Sundays, Sasuke would sometimes ask Sakura to come with her to the park, and she wanted to consider that as a date even if they never held hands. The park was beautiful and they were mostly alone. It was surrounded by many cherry trees and it reminded her so much of her parents. It was their inspiration for her name.

It was probably the sweetest thing Sasuke had done to her and she appreciated his simplistic. There was no need to rush their relationship at all. She didn't need to eat at fancy restaurants or be given some bouquet of flowers and chocolates. Besides, just being with him and letting her accompany him in this journey was such a huge deal to Sasuke. She was already grateful for this.

"What? No way, I don't believe you. You're a gorgeous young gal!"

"Trust me, we haven't. He's not really romantic but I'm fine with that, I love him nonetheless and of course, time will come. He's just really preoccupied with more important things right now and I respect that."

"Whatever you say."

Sexual thoughts about Sasuke had never really crossed her mind, maybe she had wondered what he looked like fully unclothed in the past but nothing more than that. Sasuke was indeed sexy in her eyes but she had never really thought about what it would feel like to be touched by him that way, but now that she was thinking of it, she couldn't help but feel her whole face burning from these stupid thoughts. She was after all a virgin and she had certainly wondered what it would feel like for a man's length to be inside of her and how painful her first time would be, but now was not the right time for these perverted thoughts.

Damn Mayu and her dirtiness.

She never even had her first kiss yet, she didn't want to consider giving Naruto a CPR before as her first kiss. That was an emergency and her duty as a medic nin, and that was absolutely not romantic at all.

But then she remembered that time when she and Sai almost mistakenly kissed.

It was after Sasuke's party at Naruto's house and Sai was drunk. It was also the night when Sai confessed to her that he found her pretty after all this time. Sai offered to walk her home but Sakura kept turning him down because she was just worried how he would come back to his own flat when he was this drunk. Plus, Naruto's apartment wasn't that far from hers. The boy barely had drinking experiences, and this was probably his second time to drink in his whole life. She was supposed to be the one to walk him home, but Sai was just persistent and Sakura just gave in.

After arriving outside her door, Sai unintentionally knocked over a rock the size of his palm on the ground and pushed himself over Sakura, making her squish herself upon the door. She could feel his body heat against her chest and his left knee around her thighs. Their faces were so close to each other and she felt his breath brushed her cheeks. He smelled of alcohol. They stood there for a few seconds, Sakura was taken aback by how intimate they were. She didn't know why but she stared at his lips and unconsciously begged for it to kiss hers. She knew he was staring at her eyes intently. Just before Sai could press his lips onto hers, Sakura had collected her thoughts, pushed him away and called him a moron for being clumsy.

She wanted to erase that memory from her mind, it was still embarrassing to her even if Sai did not remember that moment for being too drunk.

And she hated that she wished she had let him kiss her, even for a brief moment.

Even if it didn't mean anything.

The thought left her confused, she should be glad that Sai hadn't stolen her first kiss because she wanted Sasuke to be her first. _Why was she even thinking about this?_

During their break time at work, Sakura and Mayu went out to eat at a cafeteria nearby the hospital.

"Ooooh… I just noticed you're wearing a necklace today! What do you mean he's not romantic, that is one sexy gift right there!"

"Oh no, no!" Sakura felt blood boiling on her cheeks. "This was actually a gift from an old friend back in my village. I just wanted to wear it again. Sasuke-kun would never spend anything this expensive, it's just so impractical you know?"

Sakura decided to wear the necklace Sai had given her almost a year ago, it was gorgeous and she loved remembering that night they had. Even though she didn't spend the festival with him, it was still memorable to her.

 _I said, I have a gift for you._

 _You were really not supposed to, we weren't each other's dates!_

 _I know, but the festival was meant to be celebrated with people whom you have strong connections with, so I decided to buy you a gift._

Sakura smiled to herself. Even if she knew he was being completely platonic, she still truly appreciated how he saw her as someone he had strong connections with. Their friendship had certainly grown over the years. She really missed him.

"Okay, now what are you thinking? Your face is so red and you're smiling like an idiot to your food! You liked that guy who gave you that necklace didn't you? Is this why you and Sasuke haven't done it?" Mayu asked as she smirked devilishly at Sakura.

"What? Don't be stupid, he is just a very close friend of mine! He only saw me as a friend. Stop being silly! And I already told you earlier why we haven't _done_ it!"

"C'mon, a guy friend would never give you a gift like that, it's so sweet! He's probably way more romantic to you compared to your Sasuke-kun."

"Shut it, if you knew who I was talking about you'd really not think of that way. Sai is… Sai doesn't understand such emotions. It was confusing to him because his underground training as a ninja was harsher than the typical training we had. He's getting better at understanding emotions though, but romance is still very foreign to him," she said.

"But you like him?" Mayu asked maliciously. She could notice the disappointment in Sakura's expression. She even wondered why she needed her to confirm it when her reaction says it all.

"As a friend, I _do_." Sakura stated, sounding more irritated.

"Sure," she replied sarcastically. "So tell me more about this Sai boy, why did he give you such beautiful gift when your own boyfriend wouldn't?"

"You know, you're making me regret ever wearing this necklace again."

"Oh come on, Sakura. Just tell me!"

"Ugh, fine." Sakura told her the whole story about what happened during the fireworks festival, even about the narcissistic man who gave her a dumb gift. She was glad she never saw that man again right after.

"I bet Sai really likes you and you like him too. You're just in denial!" Mayu giggled. Sakura just sighed.

"Shut up, Mayu. I'm committed to Sasuke-kun and only to Sasuke-kun. I've always loved him since we were 12 and I'm now happy that he wanted to return my feelings. I would never trade anything for that."

She had no idea why her words seemed to not be sincere like it used to, but she didn't need to overthink it. Mayu was just playing games with her that kept messing her head. She's loyal and Sasuke is irreplaceable.

Sai is just her friend.

And nothing else.

"But I just never see this eagerness in you when you talk about Sasuke! You looked much more alive when you talk about the other guy!"

Sakura just went silent, she didn't know how she could handle Mayu today. She was wrong, she was more likely Ino and not Hinata at all.

* * *

 **Thank you for reading!** **Expect for some ;) (; of action (still RATED T SORRY I CANT WRITE SMUT) on the next chapter/s, this is where things will get a little more heated – if I'll just be able to narrate them correctly lol. I wish the plot won't be too boring to you guys though. We're also halfway through the end (more or less), I had each chapter all planned but I might add some more if I get more ideas. Anywho, please review! I'd love to hear your thoughts on the story & my writing style, I really need opinions to get better. It's very motivating!**

 **Also, I have a lot of free time until January so I'll keep writing more after this fic is finished, still SaiSaku of course! I have a lot of new ideas already, and I'm really determined to get better at writing and be more creative! Thank you for all the reviews so far, you guys have no idea how much it makes me smile when I read your reviews. :')**


	8. Canvas and Papers

**CHAPTER 8 – CANVAS AND PAPERS**

The Konoha residents hadn't seen the sun in almost a week already. The sky was blanketed by a façade of gray clouds and it continuously drenched the village with downpour. It was only during dusk when the streets would finally be free from moisture, and the sky would look happy once again, where the moon and the stars became prominent as the night went deeper.

Sai wasn't assigned to any mission in the past two weeks, and the entire time he just locked himself inside his room to finish his drawings and make new ones after the other. He never really wanted to get inspiration from the village if it was just raining the whole time, and he never really bothered to go to the library these days and try to understand more about human interactions. It seemed that he had lost his interest in forming bonds with other people ever since she left, he just mostly wanted to be alone like he always was.

He hadn't seen Sakura for almost a year now, and it was aching his chest because everything reminded him of her and every minute he missed her. He felt so tormented, and yet he couldn't do anything to relieve the pain. It's like he's being punctured repeatedly every single second that passed by. The wound in his heart just wouldn't heal on its own, and it's not like a healer would be able to heal this type of soreness anyway, unless that certain healer came back and decided she didn't want to be with Uchiha anymore. Which was very unlikely.

He had lost count of how many times he had painted and drawn her. He couldn't stop when his mind was only mostly clouded by her.

In each painting, he illustrated her in different sceneries. She was always either standing or sitting, but always looking at the sky. He had observed that Sakura really loved staring up above, always admiring the blue sky, the trees and the clouds. He wondered if she ever looked at the mirror and be mesmerized by her beauty too.

He wished he had told her that she was beautiful before she left, maybe she would smile at him happily even if there were tears running down her cheeks. Perhaps, it would have been less painful to see her go.

He had a flashback of when she told him that he actually called her pretty while he was drunk, but he pretended that he didn't remember because he enjoyed teasing her.

He definitely would not forget the time when he unintentionally knocked over a rock and pushed himself against her and almost kissed her. He couldn't control himself from not leaning in closer when their lips were just inches away from each other. This was his natural instinct, he realized. He was curious as to how her lips would feel against his, he wanted to know if it was as pleasurable as what he had read from Kakashi's perverted books. Unfortunately, Sakura pushed him away before their lips could even touch. Though, her reaction was pleasing as her entire face looked like a shade of tomato.

Each stroke he made on the canvas left him feeling pulverized in the stomach, it was even more painful than her punches, because every stroke was defining her unique and beautiful features so perfectly, making him wish he was feeling the warmth of her skin instead of painting her.

At least in his illustrations he could see her, even if they were just a bunch of pictures he created with his own hand.

It hurt, he didn't know how else he could tolerate the pain. He wanted to see her so badly again, but he didn't know how when he didn't even know where in the world she was.

Their last interaction had always kept playing in his head. She was crying because she was going to miss him. It was the first time he felt such affection from someone other than his brother, Shin, but this one seemed to hurt differently. He even reminded her of Shin, because just like him, she would encourage him to draw, and just like him, she had always been the one to accommodate him and was so attune to his complexities.

He didn't want to let go of her and let her leave with sadness in her eyes, it was as if she was begging for him to tell her not to come with Sasuke. She seemed so reluctant to go, but he must have been delusional because it's what she had always wanted from the start, and he helped her have it. He just wanted her to be happy, but why was she still not happy? She was frustrating and confusing him, why was she so hard to read?

He wondered what it could have been if he didn't confront Sasuke, and Sakura stayed in the village instead. It sounded so selfish and he didn't want to be selfish with his love for Sakura, but he was still curious if he could have made her happy on his own and give her all the love and affection she had always craved for. He had no idea how he would do it, but he would read more romance books for her and ask help from people to guide him more, he would do it all to treat her best. He would do everything she asked for.

When the sky was fully dark, Sai decided to drag his chair and sketchpad in his balcony to stay outside. He had formed the habit of painting all day and just sketching in his balcony at night while simultaneously staring at the moon and the stars. Though, this night he hadn't really touched his charcoal from the moment he sat on the chair, he was busy being hypnotized by the full moon and reminiscing that night he had with Sakura during their last mission together on the land of Mist. He could recall perfectly how much he had realize what a work of art she actually was. Her eyes were full of radiance and life, her skin was glowing like a goddess descending from heaven and her hair being brushed by the cool breeze was resembling cherry blossoms dancing with the wind.

Scratch that, she was not only a work of art, but a masterpiece.

Then he was reminded again about the fact that she was with Sasuke right now. He wished he was not constantly being reminded by this as it was just making him feel even worse than he already was.

Was he even treating her right? Or was he just hurting her like he always had?

He had read a book about coping up with a broken heart before, he thought he needed it because being broken was not desirable, but the advices in the book were just full of bullshit. Forgetting her and finding somebody else? That was nonsense. If that was the only way to get rid of the pain, then he'd rather not. He only wanted to love her and only her.

People kept telling him that he looked like Sasuke and while he hated being associated with him, he wish that made it enough for Sakura to love him too. Knowing Sakura, he knew that she was not shallow to fall for someone based on their looks. He wanted to know what qualities Sasuke had that made Sakura fall in love with him. He had never really seen any positive trait about him, more so he was arrogant and appalling, but then again he never really knew him personally. Whatever Sakura saw in him, he wanted to be that and be better than that so she would be his instead.

But did it even matter when she's thousand miles away and clueless of whether she was planning on coming back or not?

 _Sai, she will come back! I swear!_

He never even brought up his feelings about Sakura to Naruto, it just didn't make sense to him as to why he would have to tell him about it, but somehow, Naruto was able to read him. It was actually shocking for someone who was that dense.

 _I know you like her. You're not very good at hiding you know. You're even weirder as hell when you're in love. Like a forlorn giraffe lying on the ground waiting for lions to eat him!_

He remembered when it was Naruto who loved Sakura, he didn't know so much about romance then but he was still able to recognize the admiration of his other teammate to her. He just frowned at the thought. Oh, how the tables have turned.

He finally let the tip of his charcoal touched the paper and made black marks on it. After several strokes, he had created another portrait of Sakura in just a few minutes. He had captured her features perfectly for the hundred time, yet he just never felt satisfied. He wished seeing her on his paper was enough to mend his heart, but it never did. He stared at the eyes of the drawing and wondered when he would be seeing them again in real life.

He sighed. He closed his sketchpad, dragged his chair back inside his room and pushed it on the table as he placed his materials on top of it. He lied in his bed and closed his eyes, wishing she'd show up in his dreams again. At least in his dreams, she was there with him, smiling and laughing like she always was.

The next day, the sun finally showed up in the village again. He was given a solo mission by Kakashi. Finally, something that will distract him from his emotional pain.

* * *

 **Thank you for reading! I'll highly appreciate it if you leave a review before you go! And constructive criticism are welcome as well xx just let me know your thoughts!**


	9. Mistakes

**Author's Note: WARNING! This chapter contains sexual activities, so please skip if you're a minor or you don't enjoy reading such!**

* * *

 **Chapter 9 – Mistakes**

Sakura sighed. It was another exhausting day at the hospital, the amount of patients were increasing day by day due to a deadly virus spreading around the town. Thankfully, Sasuke was not infected by the disease, she had injected a special antidote onto him to which would act as a shield against the flu. The problem is, it was only effective to people who hadn't caught the flu, and healing those patients who already had been infected was quite challenging to cure due to its complicated operations. She had taught the other medics on how to successfully execute the operations but she still covered most of the duty especially the ones with severe cases already. Unfortunately, there were a few patients who had passed away as the flu had spread all over their bodies before they were even registered to the hospital. Sakura sighed once again, she hated seeing innocent people pass away. What made her feel much worse was the crying relatives of those dying patients, making her feel even guiltier for not being able to do anything more. She wished summoning Katsuyu would help in treating everyone, but this was different. This was a virus, not broken bones or open wounds. She shook her head at the thought.

It had been three hours since she was home and Sasuke still hadn't come back from work yet. Usually he gets home just half an hour after she did, which is why she was getting quite anxious already.

 _Is Sasuke-kun okay? Where is he? Should I look out for him?_

She was sitting on the couch at the living room, waiting for him impatiently while trying to distract herself by reading her medicals books, but she was not succeeding as she was way too worried for him. She kept looking at the clock on the wall, as if it would make the time go faster. Just a few minutes later, she finally heard the door opened from her behind. Her eyes lit up when she saw a tall man wearing a black cloak.

She jumped out of the couch and ran towards the door to greet him, leaving the book she was holding on top of the table and almost knocked the flower base that was sitting on it.

"Sasuke-kun, you're finally home! I was so worried because you're a bit late today." Sakura said, burying her head on his chest while putting her arms around him. She could hear his heartbeat and it was so soothing, it sounded almost like a lullaby.

"I'm sorry to have kept you waiting, we just had a lot of construction to finish today." Sasuke said, wrapping his remaining arm around her waist to return her hug. Her scent was so relaxing and so home to him. He may not know exactly how to show her his excitement about seeing her every night after his work, but it was such a stress reliever seeing those bright green eyes greeting him by the door every single day.

"It's okay, Sasuke-kun. I'm glad you're home." Sakura said as she looked at his face and smiled softly at him. "Let's go eat, the food might get cold soon already."

They both walked their way to the dining area and sat opposite each other. There were two bowls of rice, steamed fishes, a side dish of freshly cut vegetables and a kettle of tea on the dining table waiting for them. While eating, Sakura talked about her remorse for not being able to heal all the patients she recently had.

"Don't stress too much, Sakura." Sasuke said calmly before taking another bite of tomato. "It's not your fault that these people died. You did everything you could do, you've healed so many people and prevented a lot of us from being infected. I am very thankful and proud of you for that."

"I… Thank you, Sasuke-kun. Sometimes I… just couldn't help but feel bad that I didn't get to save everyone, you know?" She said shyly, sipping her tea once again.

"Understandable. But again, you've already done so much for this town. What would even happen to half of the people you've saved if we weren't even here? This whole village will probably be wiped out by this virus if not for your antidote and healing abilities. You cannot save everyone, but that doesn't make you a terrible medic nin. You're just a human like everybody else. I am truly proud of what you've done so far and you should be too."

Sakura just felt silent, his words were so comforting but she still couldn't help but feel guilty. She appreciated his praises for her though, which made her feel really good. It was very rare of him to throw compliments at her.

After dinner, Sakura washed the dishes while Sasuke helped drying them. Sakura used to always remind Sasuke that she didn't need any of his help on the kitchen, especially that he only had one arm now, but he was just persistent in helping that Sakura just let him be. She didn't really want to make him feel that he's got no use in the house, plus it was just another way for them to bond and talk more. She sometimes thought that they probably looked like a married couple which made her giggle internally.

The two headed to their rooms after cleaning up, but before Sakura could open the door to her room, Sasuke grabbed her arm to stop her.

"Sakura, wait."

Just before she could look at him in his eyes, Sasuke held her chin and immediately pressed his lips onto hers. Her eyes widened with surprise when she felt their lips collided on each other. She could feel the softness of his lips against hers, she hadn't really foreseen that something like this would be happening anytime soon. She felt his tongue begging for entrance on hers which made her close her eyes and let him invade hers. She sensed a fluttering sensation in the pit of her stomach and her face was becoming so hot. She kissed him back and tried to recreate the movement of his tongue. Their tongues wrestled like it's their last breath, and she was letting him win and explore her like this. She wondered if this wasn't Sasuke's first time because he was really skilled and it was making her melt into delirium by how much of a good kisser he was.

He pulled away and they stared at each other for a moment. She could see how flustered he was too, which made her feel a little bit relieved from embarrassment because she knew damn well that her face looked like a damn tomato.

"Sasuke… I…"

"Goodnight."

He pecked her on the lips one last time before he turned away and ran into his room. Sakura just stood there watching him until he closed his door. She touched her lower lip with her pointer finger and smiled to herself. She actually witnessed Sasuke being so shy and embarrassed when he was just confidently kissing her like they've been doing this for months.

She couldn't sleep that night since she kept replaying in her head about that moment they had, she couldn't help but giggle that she pushed a pillow into her face, trying to suffocate the intoxication away and calm her down.

She was glad her first time was special and not a _drunken_ accident.

Days passed by when she legitimately thought that kissing Sasuke would be pretty much a rare occurrence in their daily lives, but she was completely wrong. And ecstatic.

"I enjoy kissing you, Sasuke-kun."

"Me too." Yet another response she didn't expect would be coming from someone like him. She's really loving this change in him.

Every night before they go to their own rooms, they would share a kiss and it was always brief and short, but each time they did it was getting longer and they were getting more comfortable with such intimacy. Sometimes their sweet and innocent kisses become more heated but Sasuke was always so swift to pull away. There's something about it that made Sakura feel so insecure. Did her breath stink? Was she a bad kisser? Did she not taste good? She didn't know but she wished it wasn't anything like that, she wanted to have a longer make out session with him and not think of other things for a while.

This time though, things just got too intense that Sasuke pinned her to the wall to pull her closer to him and deepened the kiss which had led to him being unable to control himself any longer. He was so turned on, she just smelled so good that he wanted consume all of her. Sakura moaned from the deepening kiss which gave him a signal to pull his lips away from hers and started kissing her cheeks, chin, jaw and her neck. He snaked his hand at her back and reached for her bra to unclasp it. He struggled a bit, but when he successfully unclasped it, he bit her so hungrily on the sweetest and most sensitive spot of her neck. She knew he was going to bruise her up and she knew how much Mayu was going to tease her for this but she didn't want to care right now. This was making her feel so good and she didn't want him to stop now. She felt goose bumps when he started massaging her breast, the contact of their skins was making her crazy. She moaned in his ear when he squeezed and pinched her nipple.

"Oh my god!"

Sasuke picked her up which made her shriek from astonishment. He kicked his door and brought her in his bed as he crawled on top of her. She could see the lust in his expression which turned her on.

 _Are? We? Finally? Doing? It? Now?_

He crushed his lips onto hers once again and kissed her roughly, making her feel like she was going to melt from the heat that their bodies were releasing to each other. Her lips were so numb from kissing too much but she wanted more of his lips.

He then started biting her neck once again, making her moan even louder than before, and it was turning him on even more, so turned on that he could feel himself tightening. She sounded so aesthetically pleasing, yet so fucking sexy that he was getting so impatient and doesn't want to prolong this anymore.

He snaked his hand onto her chest and massaged her breast while still sucking her neck. He pulled away as he decided he wanted to see her bare chest already, and so he took off her shirt while Sakura did the same to him.

They both stared at each other's naked bodies. Sakura had seen him shirtless a thousand times but this particular time he was just even sexier and she was dying of lust already. She wanted to lick the sweat forming on his collarbone and give him love marks too.

Sasuke examined how round and full her breasts looked, much different from how he imagined her because her chest seemed to look flat with her clothes on.

"You're beautiful." He whispered as he started to suck on her left breast and massaged the right with his hand. Sakura just shut her eyes, already forgetting that Sasuke just stared at her topless self and called her beautiful for the first time. She thought she was going to explode, his tongue was circling around her nipples and he was making her feel more intoxicated with lust when she could feel his thigh being pressed so roughly between her legs, and she knew he was doing this on purpose. Her panties was so soaked already and she wondered if he was feeling her wetness against his thigh. _Oh Kami, I think I'm going to die._

"Sa-i-s-as-!"

Sasuke stopped sucking her nipple. She was shocked by herself, did she just scream _Sai's_ name in front of Sasuke? What the fuck was with her? She covered her face because she knew she fucked up, she didn't want to see Sasuke's anger.

"Sasuke-I didn't-"

She stopped when she felt her panties and skirt being taken off single handedly by him. She looked at him and saw how unbothered and how lustful he still seemed, he probably didn't hear her. She sighed from relief but then she saw him was staring at her naked body. She was now fully exposed in front of Sasuke that she felt embarrassed even more. She closed her eyes again as she didn't want to see how much he was staring at her.

"Please, don't stare like that!"

Then she suddenly felt his fingers rubbing her clit so roughly, which made her eyes open widely and her lips let out a loud gasp.

"No! I might-ahh! Ahh! Ahh!"

Sakura covered her mouth with both of her hands, she was scared that she might scream his name again but Sasuke removed her hand from her mouth.

"I want to hear your moans, Sakura."

 _Kami, she was going to punch herself if she dared scream Sai's name again._ Thank goodness Sasuke was unaware.

Sasuke smirked at her from seeing how much he was pleasuring her just by touching her like this, and it only encouraged him to insert his two other fingers inside of her. This was so amusing to him, she was so wet, and he could already imagine how sloppy their first time would be. He wanted to know what she tasted like. He could smell her sweet yet sexy scent lingering on his nose. The thought of it tightened him even more, making him feel much more impatient than he already was. Sakura arched her back when she felt his fingers starting to pump in and out of her, making her clutch the sheets of his bed and unintentionally removing it.

And just when she thought she already hit the extreme pleasure, she felt a weird wet skin snaking all over her clit, making her wet more. She looked down and saw that his mouth was buried on her vagina. She bit her lip at the sight.

"That's! No! That's-dir-ahh! Ahhh! Yes! Fuck! Yes! That feels- yes, ooohhhh…"

Sasuke was licking her clit while simultaneously fingering her, he never imagined she would taste this fucking good, what took him so long to do this anyway?

And she felt the heat rising inside her, she was about to climax. She was being fingered so roughly that she could no longer hold herself. She grabbed the pillow next to her and bit it to stop herself from screaming. His pace became much faster that she released abruptly. She felt her legs trembled after cumming, and she realized that she was holding her breath for so long. She shut her eyes and panted heavily, she was starting to feel so sleepy from the pleasure she had just experienced.

But Sasuke was not done with her yet, they were just starting. He needed to feel her insides now, he had been patient enough and it was now his time to have fun. He took off his pants as quickly as possible, exposing his length and started giving himself a handjob, he had been so hard from the start and he needed to release it. He kissed her one more time but when he's about to insert himself inside her, Sakura pushed him away, confusing him.

"Stop! Stop! No, I'm… I'm sorry I'm so so sorry… Sasuke… I don't want to do this right now, I'm, I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry."

Sai… she was thinking of Sai the entire time.

* * *

 **Thank you to jeyamendoza & metagem for the criticisms, I appreciate them all so much and I will do my best to incorporate them on future chapters! I really needed other people's opinions to get better at writing, so thank you so much! **

**By the way, the cover is hand drawn by me! I tried drawing SaiSaku semi-realistically lol :-)**

 **PLEASE REVIEW I HIGHLY APPRECIATE THEM**


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